Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness?

Over the past couple of years, I have been trying to reconcile certain events in our country's history and certain attitudes in our present day culture with what the New Testament tells us about what a Christian’s Biblical response to government and culture should be. I have also struggled in my mind with a certain Constitutional Amendment which, in my opinion, should not be important to the Christian. I have also tried to get a balance in my mind between the “Red, White and Blue” and the shed blood of Christ.  Does my identity lean more towards the American Flag or the Cross?  Do I really believe that I am a pilgrim just passing through this world?  I am not suggesting that Christians cannot be patriotic, but am asking where is the balance?  Do I care for my country more than I care for Christ and His Kingdom?  How do we know if we need an affection adjustment?  (Matt 6:21)


The second paragraph of the U.S. Declaration of Independence opens by stating that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."


I have tried to locate in Scripture where Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness are guaranteed to every person by our Creator. I have failed to find these promises for us this side of eternity, and even then these three items will only apply to those who know Jesus Christ as their Savior.  At best, Christians are to expect trials, suffering, mocking and scorn from those around us. Life is a gift from God, not a right. We are not to boast for tomorrow. (Prov 27:1) We are repeatedly told in the New Testament that we are to die to self and to live for Christ.  Any liberty which we may have is another gift from God. There are many people around this world who have no idea what it is like to worship God without fear of imprisonment, torture and/or death. The majority of Western Christians take this for granted. Way too often, I do too.  However, instead of having true liberty, most people do not realize that we are all a slave to something. Many, many people are slaves to their own sin and selfish desires. The sad thing is that many of these people believe that they are free because they are not living by "some religion’s" rules. They are blinded and cannot see their sin for what it truly is, an offense against a holy God.  Even Christians do not have unadulterated liberty.  Paul tells the church in Corinth that, since we have been bought with a price, that we are to live as slaves to Christ. (I Cor 7:22) Ironically, in this form of slavery there is actually freedom because we are no longer held captive by our own sinful desires. The chains have been loosed and we have been made new. Christ gives us access to the power we need to be free from sin, although too often I know that I choose not to use that power. Worldly happiness should not be the goal of a Christian. Happiness today is getting the next big thing. It’s keeping up with the Jones’, whoever they are. We should not be concerned with this covetous, competitive lifestyle. We should have the joy of the Lord. We should be content with where we are and with what God has seen fit to give us. This includes whatever burdens in life He has fitted us to carry. We should simply be grateful and thankful that God has called us to Himself because He is all that we really need. A Christian should strive for holiness, not happiness. If we seek Him, He will give us the joy that we desire.  


The 2nd Amendment in the U.S. Constitution states that: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” I believe that there are many Christians who put more faith in their personal arsenal than they do in their God. I have heard many complaints that the government is trying to “take our guns away.” I know of professing Christians who are buying weapons in the event that our freedoms are taken away. They talk about taking our country back. They claim that we need another revolution. I find it laughable that somehow a man standing on his porch with a weapon is going to stop a heavily armed military force from doing whatever they want. I look to the example of many in the early church who were martyred and/or imprisoned for their faith. Where in Scripture is it recorded that Stephen, Peter, Paul, James or John said that it was OK to take up arms against the government? They didn’t. They spoke the truth and entrusted the outcome to the Lord. Where in the New Testament are we told that we should have weapons in our home to defend ourselves from the government? Jesus never tells us to do that. In fact, Jesus says that “all who take the sword will perish by the sword.” (I believe this applies to guns, as well…) Paul knew that “to die is gain” but he wasn’t going to push the issue by wielding a sword. He never told us to revolt or take up arms against the government. The truth is that the government in his day was in many ways more corrupt and ungodly than our government is today. And yet, Paul tells us to submit to the authority of the government. In Romans 13:2, Paul gives us, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, a direct command. “Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.” (NASB) Based off this clear command, Christians cannot revolt against their government. I realize that we are also commanded in Scripture to “obey God, rather than men” but how many of us will find ourselves in a situation where we need to make the choice to obey God or be imprisoned or killed. (Acts 5:29)  If a situation like that ever comes up, we still need to obey God and take whatever punishment the government decrees.  We are also not to refuse to pay our taxes because they may be used to fund abortions, wars or anything else that we disagree with. It seems reasonable to believe that at least a portion of the taxes levied against the Jewish people in the early 1st century was being used to support the hedonistic and wicked lifestyle of those in power.  Despite this fact, Jesus commanded that the Jews were to "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." (Mark 12:17)


Most Christians will freely admit that God is sovereign over the details of their lives, but I believe that we often forget that God is also sovereign over every level of government which has, is or will exist. God created the institution of government and nobody in a position of power is there unless God allows it. (Rom:13:1) He has the power to lift men up into positions of power and He has the power to remove them from power. I think of King Nebuchadnezzar and how God dealt with his pride and caused him to “eat grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers, and his nails were like birds' claws.” (Dan 4:33) God had the power to remove Nebuchadnezzar and he had the power to restore him. God still has the power to do the same today.


It is perfectly fine to hold an elected office or to be involved in government via voting, answering polls or giving your opinion when there are things being done which directly contradict the teachings of Scripture.  We must maintain a balance between our political involvement/concerns and our faith. We cannot put more faith in our government than we put in our God. Our government cannot save us. A politician cannot save us. The government and government officials can very easily become an idol. We all witnessed this during the last presidential election when many in our nation placed their hope and trust in one man to be the savior of our country.  The media hype was over the top.  He wasn’t just going to be our president, he was our only source of hope. He was going to fix every problem facing our nation.  For all intents and purposes, many essentially worshiped him.  I see it again in this election with a politician from the other side of the aisle. Many people are so supportive of this candidate that if anyone says anything remotely negative about him, it is akin to blasphemy.  Both are forms of idolatry.


Regardless of what is happening in our culture, I suggest that a Christian's daily concerns should be that they are dying to self, a slave to desires of Christ and the pursuit of holiness.

Sola Fide

Sola Fide is Latin for "faith alone".   Historically, this refers to the doctrine of justification by faith alone.

To be justified in the eyes of God requires that He sees us as just.  Since all men are born sinners we are, by our very nature, unjust.   The only way for us to be declared just, or have true righteousness, is to have the righteousness of Jesus Christ imputed to us by God.  Ephesians 2:8-9 says the following:  "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;  not as a result of works, so that no one may boast." 

Mankind is not good.  We are not bent for goodness.  As babies, we do not start out innocent and then get corrupted by the world.  We are born with a sin nature and apart from the grace of God, it will only get worse.  If we were truly honest with ourselves, we know that we are regularly tempted to lie, steal, cheat, lust and chase after things which make us feel good.  And too often, we succumb to the temptation and act out on those impulses and sin.  To make ourselves feel better, we often try to create degrees of sinfulness.  I know because I have done it.  In many ways, our sin rating chart could look similar to the homeland security advisory system.  (see below)  We likely rate many of our own sins in the green or blue areas (and even then, we are mostly in the green!) while we put our neighbor's sin or the sins of John Wayne Gacy, Adolf Hitler, etc..  in the red area.  We tell ourselves that we are not "that bad" and ultimately God will give us a pass because he will see that we tried.  We convince ourselves that God will grade us on a curve. 

We may not all rob a bank or commit perjury ("big" sin), but how many of us have slacked off at work or told a little fib with "good" intentions.  How many of us get angry with our children but we really don't feel too bad about it because we didn't act on it like Judge William Adams did.  Regardless of the sin we have committed in our lifetime, it is only by the grace of God that we are not as evil as we ultimately could be.  The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 3:10-12 that "(10) as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one; (11) no one understands; no one seeks for God. (12) All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one."  There are many other verses which speak to the total depravity of man.  If you are interested, you can find more information here. 


Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us that our works cannot save us from the penalty of our sin.  However, good works are not something to be avoided.  Biblical Christians do not work because they believe their work gains them God's favor or even their salvation.  Biblical Christians work because they love Christ, the Church, their families and others.  Biblical Christians work out of gratitude and love for their Savior.  Biblical Christians understand that since they have been forgiven much, that they owe much.  There are many who hope to attain their justification by their works and are not living by faith.  God says that our righteousness is like filthy rags to Him.  There are also many who believe in a faith plus works system to be saved.  This form of idolatry happens personally (ie. in our own hearts) and also institutionally when the church places more emphasis on our works, clothing, appearance or actions than on our relationship with God.  Good works are not required to be saved, but they are one evidence of our regeneration as, if done genuinely, they reveal a love for the Savior.  

We cannot attain righteousness by how good we live, how much time or money we give, how nice we are to others, by comparing ourselves with another, or by any other man-made idea there is out there. We can only attain true righteousness by placing our faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ. His sacrifice on the cross paid the eternal penalty of sin for those who believe.

Sola Fide.

It's Not My Story

I have been reminded again over the past week that God is not making this “life thing” up as we go along.   He already knows the end of the story.  He knew the entire story before he spoke the world into creation.  He is not bound by time as we are.   He does not age.  He will not die.  He is “already there”, as the new Casting Crowns song reminded me.  To Him, our future is like the past.  The trials, which my family experiences, are no surprise to the Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent God.   He is working these events for our good and His glory.  My finite mind cannot truly comprehend this.   I, too often, have trouble seeing past the end of day and how the health issues fit into the “big picture”.    But, I have a feeling that when I am able to look back at the works God has done through my family, I will be amazed at how it all just “fit” together.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  (Rom 8:28 NASB)

I needed to be reminded that it’s not my story.  It’s His story.

Camping and Osteen

Harold's at it again. 

Two different takes on the same interview of Joel Osteen by Piers Morgan.   A positive review and a not so positive review.

Persecution in Iran

Iranian Pastor Nadarkhani has been imprisoned for over 700 days and could be executed for the crime of "apostasy" within days. 

http://dynamic.csw.org.uk/article.asp?t=press&id=1231&search

"Iranian pastor Yousef Nadarkhani has twice refused to recant his Christian faith during two court hearings held in Rasht, Gilan Province on 25 and 26 September. Sources close to CSW indicate that recanting will again be demanded at sessions scheduled for 27 and 28 September, and that if he continues to refuse, he will be executed thereafter.
Pastor Nadarkhani was tried and found guilty of apostasy (abandoning Islam) in September 2010 by the court of appeals in Rasht. The verdict was delivered verbally in court, while written confirmation of the death sentence was received nearly two months later. At the appeal in June 2011, the Supreme Court of Iran upheld Pastor Youcef Nadarkhani’s sentence, but asked the court in Rasht, which issued the initial sentence, to re-examine whether or not he had been a practicing Muslim adult prior to converting to Christianity. The written verdict of the Supreme Court’s decision included provision for annulment of the death sentence if Pastor Nadarkhani recanted his faith."

Grace in Trials

The following is a Puritan prayer.  It is found in the book "The Valley of Vision, A Collection of Purtian Prayers and Devotions."  When I read this prayer today, I was encouraged and also convicted again of my "unexhausted fountain of sin" and of my futile attempts to trust in my own means.



Father of Mercies,

Hear me for Jesus' sake.
I am sinful even in my closest walk with thee;
it is of thy mercy I died not long ago;

Thy grace has given me faith in the cross
by which thou has reconciled thyself to me and me to thee,
drawing me by thy great love,
reckoning me as innocent in Christ though guilty in myself.

Giver of all graces,
I look to thee for strength to maintain them in me,
for it is hard to practise what I believe.

Strengthen me against temptations.

My heart is an unexhausted fountain of sin,
a river of corruption since childhood days,
flowing on in every pattern of behaviour;

Thou has disarmed me of the means in which I trusted,
and I have no strength but in thee.

Thou alone canst hold back my evil ways,
but without thy grace to sustain me I fall.

Satan's darts quickly inflame me,
and the shild that should quench them easily drops from my hand:

Empower me against his wiles and assualts.

Keep me senible of my weakness,
and of my dependence upon thy strenghth.

Let every trial teach me more of thy peace,
more of thy love.

Thy Holy Spirit is given to increase thy graces,
and I cannot preserve or improve them unless he works continually in me.

May he confirm my trust in they promised help,
and let me walk humbly in dependence upon thee,
for Jesus' sake.

King Jesus Has the Power to Heal

The Lord is performing some hands-on work on our family right now. At times, we definitely feel like clay in the hands of a potter as He pounds, shapes and works the clay into what He wants us to look like. And if I can say so, it has not been an entirely pleasant experience but we know that it has been a necessary one.  But, that's not necessarily a bad thing either!  An experienced, godly pastor is helping us work through the mounds of garbage and other junk which we have tried to shove in a closet and forget about.  I will try not to go into specifics, but I believe that we have begun the healing process for this very complicated and difficult situation. As the description on our blog states, we do not have this life thing figured out but we are slowly learning.

We have all been wounded in one way or another. Some wounds are self inflicted due to our very own sin nature. Others are forced upon us. Our wounds may also have been the result of an unintentional act.  The unintentional act may have been real or possibly we just believe that another person offended us.  Either way though, this type of offense can typically be handled with a cordial discussion. Examples of these could be when we feel like we should have been invited to an outing. It could be when we felt ignored because somebody at church didn't say “hi” to us. There likely was no intent to exclude or ignore you by that person.  If we are truly honest with ourselves, we would repent of our pride, stop thinking that their world revolves around us and give them the benefit of the doubt.


We can wound another from actions, inaction, words said and words which were never said or possibly not said enough.  Typically, the people we wound the most frequently and grievously are often those who live in our own home.  This is probably because these are also the people which we take for granted.  Needless to say, due to the amount of time we spend together, it is inevitable that we will offend those in our home. And when (not if) we do offend, we need to have a heart which is willing to say "I'm sorry".  Some other words which should be said regularly to each other in the home are: "I love you", "Please forgive me", "I forgive you", "thank you" and "good job".  We need to say words which edify, build up and heal, not words which tear down and inflict emotional pain.  Like our accounts with the Lord, we need to keep our list of unrepented sins against our family as short as possible.  We should also remember that our actions speak louder than our words. When our actions contradict our words, our spouse and children will likely believe our actions over our words. I can say “I love you” until I am blue in the face, but if I habitually degrade and humiliate my wife or children they will not believe my hollow, empty words.


Some wounds could be the result of systematic patterns of abuse by somebody in authority over us at some point in our lives.  The abuse can be physical, mental, sexual and even spiritual in nature.  When there is a systematic pattern of abuse, the wounds run deeper and the recovery process is more difficult. It often requires peeling back layers and layers of pain, anger, fear and resentment like an onion. These wounds are often the most traumatic because they are caused by those who who are supposed to love and protect us. Let me just say that if any of your children live in regular fear of you, you are doing something horribly wrong as a parent. Yes, children need to respect their parents.  However, as parents we need to be careful to not give them sufficient reason to not respect us.  A parent's inconsistency, anger and rage will bear bad fruit. These will likely cause our children to grow up hating their home and when they are able to "escape" from our grasp, they will run.  If we, as parents, cannot control ourselves, how can we reasonably expect our children to control themselves.  Be firm, but give them love, grace and consistency. Do as I say and as I do are critical. Otherwise, we are seen as hypocrites in their eyes.  (and rightfully so)  


Regardless of how we have received our wounds, the healing of those wounds can only truly begin when we humble ourselves at the foot of the Cross. It's not just a one-time visit. For it to be its most effective, we must consciously make the trip every single day of our lives. Our wounds are the result of sin, which is the transgression against a Holy God. Whether we were the victim, co-conspirator, or we can only honestly blame ourselves, it doesn’t matter because it is only Christ who can heal us perfectly. He can, and typically does, use those around us to help us heal but ultimately only He can provide the soothing balm of the Gospel to our wounds. Only HE knows how to use our scars for our good and His glory.  Romans 8:28 reminds us that He will work everything together for good. 
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  (Rom 8:28 NASB) 


Our pastor used this analogy a few months ago. "In the blender of life, what happens to us and our responses to it get mixed up and blended together. It's hard to see what came from what."  When somebody wounds us, our response to it gets thrown into the blender. Our response could be holy or sinful. It may even change from day to day or possibly from hour to hour. Through many tears, by immersing ourselves in the Scriptures, with the aid of a sound Biblical counselor, and by God's glorious grace, the healing process can begin. When we have been grievously wounded, we need to take time to allow the Lord to heal us. Sometimes, that may mean temporarily breaking ties from those who have wounded us. When family is involved, innocent family members may be affected by the breaking of ties.  Ecc 3:1 tells us that there is a season for everything. Verse 3 specifies that there is a time to heal. We simply cannot ignore our wounds and sweep them under the carpet. If we try to avoid the season of healing, it is unlikely that we will properly heal. As we begin to heal, the ultimate goal should be to get to the point where we are not defined by our wounds but we are defined by how Christ has used our wounds to conform us more into the image of Himself. God’s grace has the power to heal.

But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. (Isa 53:5 NASB)


Jesus desires to make us whole and for those who respond in obedience to the Gospel, He will make us completely and perfectly whole one glorious day.  Praise God that our Savior, Mediator and King Jesus has the power to do just that!

Parenting Blindspots

Let me start by stating that my wife and I home educate both of our children. She is the primary educator of our two children.  We have friends who educate at home, others have chosen a private school and others have selected the public school system.  We have friends who have chosen one form and then through various circumstances have chosen a different form of education for their children.  We respect the choices which they prayerfully have made for their families and we pray that their children will be protected by the Lord wherever they are educated.

Recently, there has been a blog post circulating around the Internet which has kind of reached a semi-viral status. The post is titled "Homeschool Blindspots" and can be found here. This post, by Josh Harris, is a summary of a longer article written by Reb Bradley which is called: Exposing Major Blind Spots of Homeschoolers.  Personally, the original article would have been much better if it had been written to all parents and didn't specifically target home based education.  I have read many comments stating that the recommendations can be applied to parenting in general.  I would definitely agree with those statements.  However, I have read many, many comments blasting home based education and using the arguments contained in the article to backup their claims.  The Bible is clear that parents are responsible for the education of their children. Whether you educate at home or you choose to enlist outside means, such as a private/public school, tutors, etc... is irrelevant. You, as the parent, need to be active in their education.  You need to know what is being taught to your children. You need to know if what they are being taught is counter to Scripture.

The article starts out by stating that there are many parents who have home educated their children and many of these children didn't "turn out" the way their parents had expected. These parents were shocked, dismayed and confused when their methods didn't work as expected. The article by Reb Bradley was written to expose the issues which are encountered by "homeschoolers and other family-minded people."  For clarity sake, I will follow Josh Harris' bullet points and not Reb Bradley's.

1. The first issue pertains to the parents having "self-centered dreams."  This is hardly something which can be isolated to home school families and is definitely not exclusive to our education choices.  Certainly, home school parents can be guilty of this. However, parents who choose to educate their children at a private or public school can easily be guilty of this.  An example of this can be as simple as a father who was a soccer stud in his glory years and now tries to live vicariously through his children's sports activities.  If you have been around any children's sporting event, you have seen this type of father.  He is the one who believes that his child's potential is being stifled by the know-nothing coach.  This is a very common form of a parent having "self centered dreams."  The writer states that he and his wife were "devastated" when their 18 year son started acting out and disrespecting their authority.  He states that his dreams were destroyed by his son's decisions.  Mr. Bradley also mentions that he controlled his children with fear of authority.  Possibly, by home schooling, these parents believed that they could protect their son from seeing examples of disrespect and therefore their son would not disrespect them as he grew older.  Either way, this issue did not stem from where they educated their son, but from his own sin nature.  This child would likely have rebelled against their authority if he were at a private Christian school. These parents appear to have forgotten that we are all sinful by nature and as a result, we are all selfish and want our own way.  This means that we will all, at some point in our lives, disrespect authority. It really doesn't matter whether the authority figure be man or God. We all have a propensity to disrespect that authority figure. A son who disrespects his parents when he is 18 is not a problem which is exclusive to home school families. Christian parents who have sent their children to public and private school have experienced, and will continue to experience, the exact same thing. In many cases, these devastated parents could also have been more concerned with the outward form (see point 3) than with reaching the child's heart.
     
2. The 2nd issue raised was "Raising Family as an Idol."
   
   Mr. Bradley writes that: "We know we have made our family an idol when we put our hope and trust in it more than in God – we look to it rather than God for our identity and significance. And we know we look to our family for our significance when it has the most power to lift us up or to demoralize us. It is most obvious in a public setting when we either glory in our children or become enraged when they embarrass us. Our children are either the source of our pride or our disappointment, depending on whether or not they help us achieve our image of a strong family."  I would suggest that this issue is also not only a home education issue. This issue is very possible, and possibly even prevalent, in the church as a whole.  Due to our sin nature, mankind is bent to make idols out of almost anything. It could be family, money, status, etc... but our idol could even be our local church. I have seen and know of situations where the goal of the children in public settings was to not embarrass the parents in any public setting including church. If the child did something to embarrass the parent, the child knew what was waiting for them when they got home. And most likely, the discipline would be twice as severe as it would have been if the children would have done whatever they did in the privacy of their home. 
   
   My wife and I were members of a church where the leadership of the church absolutely refused to assist anybody who home educated their children. By any means necessary, they prodded, cajoled, coerced, manipulated and used guilt to populate/fund their private school.  There was a visible sense of pride when enrollment records were beaten each year.  The interesting thing is that my wife's graduating class consists of people who have fallen away from the Lord and are now caught up in sinful, wicked lifestyles.  We were told that home schooling wouldn’t prepare our children and public school was the equivalence of feeding our children to the wolves. We were effectively told that the best way to protect our children and ensure that they turned out “right” was to put them in the church’s school. Yet, somehow the Christian school failed to “save” all of the children from straying from the Lord, even though the parents were essentially promised as much.  It's because they couldn't control the outcome any different than Mr. Bradley and his wife could control their son's decision making.  
   
   Whether they are right or wrong, our children will make their own decisions.  We can only guide them so much.  Either way though, where or how your child is educated does not guarantee that they will go on to live for the Lord.
     
3. The 3rd issue raised was "Emphasizing Outward Form."  This section talked about outward adherence to rules, without the heart being affected. He then makes a point that Pharisees were not gaining holiness because of their outward appearances, which is very true. However, I have been in, and seen first hand, more than one church who has been guilty of putting undo emphasis on hair style and length, how shiny the man's shoes are, an unwritten dress code and other extra-biblical, ancillary items.  In some circles, even which translation of the Bible you carry is more important than whether your heart is being changed by the living Word of God.
   
   The writer then inserts a question which he asked to a dying mother. He asked her if there would be anything that she would have done differently.  Her reply was that she would have bought more bread, as opposed to baking it, so that she could have spent more time with her children.  Using a dying mother's reply that “she would have baked less bread” in an article detailing the "dangers" of home schooling was interesting, at best. If any cancer stricken, dying mother of public/private school children was asked that same question, she likely would have said that she would have preferred to have spent more time with her children.  If they are truly honest, every dying mother and father who has a chance to answer that question will tell you something that they wish they would have done differently. Maybe they spent too much time cleaning the house, spent too much time on their hobbies, spent too much time away at work, etc….   It would not be difficult to find parents who wished that they would have spent more time with their children.
   
   Outward adherence to rules, whether they be God's or man's, does not ensure a regenerate heart.
   
     
4. This issue was titled "Tending to Judge."  From my experience, judgmental spirits are definitely not limited to families who educate at home.  If you only want to include those who claim to be Christian in the discussion, there are many in churches which were guilty of this very thing.  Judgmentalism takes many forms, but for purposes of this post I will not stray from education.  In their case, you were looked down upon if you home schooled or sent your child to public school.  If you had children of school age and you wanted to be included in the "approved" crowd, you had to send your children to an approved private school. Many in this church, including the lead pastor, were not supporters of home schooling and we were essentially told that the private school was the best, and possibly only, choice for "producing" godly children for the parents. I have witnessed the judgmental spirit towards my family from those who choose private and public education.  I was guilty of this and by God's grace he has shown me where I have sinned in this area.  Now, I try very hard not to judge those whose education choices differ from what we choose to do.  I have heard the comments that since we home school our children, we must not have faith that God will protect them.  I have heard that somehow, I am weaker than my brother who sends his children off to public school.   This is not necessarily the case for either of us.  I don't believe that I am stronger or weaker than my brother, regardless of where either of chooses to educate our children.
   
   Please keep in mind that NO form of eduction is perfect.  I won't judge your choice.  Please don't judge mine. 
   
    
5. The next issue raised was that home school families have a propensity of "Depending on Formulas."  Reliance on any man-made method to protect or save our children, or ourselves for that matter is a form of idolatry. We can do almost everything right (or at least what we think is right) and our children may go either direction. This issue is also not unique to homeschooling.  The Church even relies on formulas, such as catechisms, to teach our children scripture.
   
   Every form of education has its own formulas.  We need to remember that formulas are not inherently bad. They do, however, become a stumbling block when we rely on them more than we rely on God.
   
     
6. The next issue raised was "Over-Dependence on Authority and Control."
   
   The writer states that "No amount of parental control or restriction will guarantee that a child will turn out exactly as directed. Obviously, our training increases the likelihood our children will cling to the faith when they reach maturity, or turn back to Christ if they do enter a season of rebellion, but our training does not guarantee the desired outcome."  
   
   Exactly. And this is true for all families.
   
   Mr Bradley also states that "We weren’t ogres – our home was full of affection – but we relied upon fear of our authority as the main source of motivation for our children. What we didn’t realize was that there is a great difference between intimidating children into subjection and winning their hearts into submission. Intimidating children into subjection merely gains outward compliance. Winning their hearts means gaining greater opportunity to influence their values."   (emphasis mine)
   
   Exactly.  And I believe that relying on fear/intimidation to control your teenagers will often result in their rebellion.  I have witnessed it.  I have seen teenagers run for the door and others with their feet 3/4 of the way out of the door, just waiting until they could escape.  All because of hypocritical, overbearing, over-controlling and/or intimidating fathers.  Based off his article, I sense that he relied on fear/intimidation into his son's teenage years.  Boys will tend to rebel under those scenarios and that fact, more so than where he was educated, may be why his son rebelled against his authority.
   
     
7. The next issue raised was "Over-Reliance Upon Sheltering."  Sheltering can be a huge issue in private school, as well.
   
   I would admit that there is a bit of sheltering going on in our home. As parents, we believe that it is our responsibility to protect our children from certain influences at this stage in their lives.  I cannot control everything, nor do I think that is reasonable to expect.  However, there are certain topics which I don't wish my 7 and 9 year old children to deal with right now. However, if my children where in the local public school, these topics would have been discussed when my children were in kindergarten, with no option for me as the parent to have them opt out. I believe that it is perfectly OK, and even biblical, to protect my children from evil influences where I can. How can I tell my children that it is a sin to lie, but then tell them that it is OK for them to answer a question on a test which directly contradicts Scripture?
   
    
8. The next issue raised was "Not Passing On a Pure Faith."  Again, this is not an issue which can be isolated to home schooling families. Whether or not your faith is passed onto your children is not due to your choice of education for them. 
   
   Mr. Bradley states that he has "observed too many obedient, model homeschoolers, who left their families and/or abandoned their parents’ values sometime after their 18th birthday. Mind you, many of these parents ran such a tight ship that they were absolutely certain that their kids would continue to be obedient and godly into their adult years. And many of these were parents who were admired for their well-behaved teenage children. There is a great temptation for such a parent to develop a false security in his or her ability to control. Needless to say, when good children grow up and abandon our values, it has a way of humbling us."
   
   I have seen many young people, which were educated in private christian education, abandon their parents' values after they left home. This is not something which can be isolated to being home educated. In general though, children sometimes forsake the faith of their parents. In some cases, I believe that they probably should. Especially, when their parents faith is not a genuine faith. Our spouse and kids can see if what we believe, and live out, matches what we say.
   
   
     
9. The last issue raised was "Not Cultivating a Loving Relationship With Our Children". I have witnessed many families where the children were to be seen and never heard, especially in public. I have seen families where the children were treated as secondary individuals and were only there to serve the father. I have seen situations where children were to be doing chores so the father could sit in his chair and watch the football game.  An absentee parent is a problem in society as a whole. It crosses economic, social and racial boundaries.  Again, this issue is not isolated to where your children are educated.
   

Ultimately, the article and subsequent blog post are about parenting pitfalls to avoid.  I believe that both lack balance since they seem to identify these problems as primarily home school specific issues.  As I read both articles, I read numerous instances of where home education fails children.  Then, seemingly against all odds, I was given examples of public schooled children who were exposed to every sinful thing the world had to offer and yet amazingly lived godly and pure lives.  Praise the Lord for his protection, but we need to remember that it was the Lord who protected them.  I am positive that if you honestly look hard enough, you can find statistics and examples as to why Christian parents shouldn’t send their children to public school because they will be exposed to evil and could be tempted to leave the faith.  The same could even be said of private Christian education.  Only in that case, many of the children are learning how to "walk the walk and talk the talk."  If their heart is not reached, when the child grows up he/she could walk away from the parents' faith.  I've seen it.  Or, as these articles so clearly articulated, one can find home school education examples where the children were too sheltered, judgmental and unprepared for life in the real world and when they went out on their own become ensnared by the trappings of the world.  Also, in each one of the scenarios listed above, you can readily find many examples showing us that despite where the child was taught, he/she went on to live for the Lord.  The real issue is not where our children are educated.  As parents, we can really only do so much.  I will suggest to you that your faith, as you reveal it and live it out in your home, will have more influence on your children than anything else you can tangibly do for them. 

Rather than focusing on where a child is educated, may I suggest a couple of items:

• Pray for your child.
• Be consistently biblical with your child.
• Do not provoke your children to wrath.
• Allow them to make some decisions.  Children need to know how to learn from their mistakes.
• Be firm when you need to. 
• But most importantly, give them grace and show them Christ.

Our actions as parents cannot guarantee that our children will ultimately surrender to and live their lives for God. Only God can do a work on their hearts and bring them to Him. We need to have faith and believe that it's all up to the Lord. He is the only one who can get to their heart.  

Till Death do us Part

Pat Robertson created quite a frenzy with his comments that a man could divorce his wife who was suffering from Alzheimer's disease. 

Here is another side of the story.  From a man who believes otherwise.

9/11 National Anthem - Chicago Bears vs. Atlanta Falcons

Being a bully is anti-Christ

I have known some bullies in my day.  Sadly, I have known professing Christians who are bullies.  I have been appalled at their attitude that God has somehow given them the right and/or authority to treat others as they wish.  Often, this attitude is a result of a heinous, self serving twisting of Scripture.

If we are to be truly Christ-like, we must desire to emulate Christ as He is revealed to us in Scripture and Jesus is not a bully.  When Christ lived here on earth, He was a man who flawlessly executed the will of the Father.  Yes, his primary purpose was to seek and to save that which was lost.  He did this when he lived a sinless life, was hung on a cross to die for the sins of men and was raised again on the third day.  In living this sinless life, he was an example to us about how we should live our lives.  He came to serve and he came to show us what godly love is. 

Christ willingly sacrificed himself for those whom He loved.  As men, especially for those who claim to be men of God, how often can we honestly say that we willingly sacrifice ourselves for those whom we love?  Or, do we bully those whom we are supposed to love into compulsory servitude to us.

Eph 5:25 ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Col 3:19 ESV Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Col 3:21 ESV Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Men, let's repent of our selfishness today and make a commitment to show our families what true godly love is.  We need to renew this commitment every day as our flesh will fight to do what it wants, to take what it wants and to demand what it wants.  So, let me encourage you to ask God for the grace to be the type of husband and father that He wants you to be. 

It is only by God's grace that we can hope to do it.

What does autism look like?

We have a son who is on the autism spectrum. As parents, we have repeatedly been told that he doesn't look autistic. People say that he "looks fine".  We have seen the looks of surprise when people discover that Hunter is on the spectrum.  We have dealt with people who refuse to accept that he is on the spectrum and that he is not like other boys his age.  We have heard it from family, friends and former pastors. 

So, we ask you. What does autism look like?

We would suggest to you that each and every person who is on the spectrum will reveal to you a different picture of autism.  People with autism are affected in varying ways and also to varying degrees.  Boys are affected diffently than girls are.  Research is beginning to understand this better.   Some people have greater difficulty communicating verbally than other people do. It is not uncommon for someone afflicted with autism to have vision disorders. Some people are borderline brilliant in math, music or science. There are parents who work tirelessly with their autistic child trying different types of therapy, diets, etc... and our hearts go out to them.  We believe that children are a gift from God and we are thankful to have both of our children. We would also suggest to you that Hunter is "fine". Granted, he may act differently than other children in some areas and his brain may function differently than "normal" children (whatever that is) but Hunter is the perfect boy for our family.  However, once people get to know him, they realize that in many ways he just like other other boys his age.


Hunter also has some OCD behaviors. When he was younger, we thought that he was going to wear out all of the light switches in our house because he would have to turn on and off the light several times before entering the room. This was especially the case when going to the bathroom. He sees things in "black and white". He has a difficult time with change and functions best when there is routine. He needs to know what's scheduled to happen tomorrow (or where we may go) so that he can prepare for it. If his senses are overstimulated, due to alot of activity, we keep an eye on him to make sure that he is not showing signs of distress. If he is around alot of people, such as an overcrowded mall or at our old church, he has gone into the fetal position in an effort to escape. He also has a hard time with when things don't make sense or follow the rules which he has learned. For example, reading was interesting when he was younger because the English language is full of examples where the normal rules just don't apply.   In some ways, exceptions are the rule. 

He also has a hearing sensitivity. Certain sounds and especially loud noises really bother him. As you can imagine, having a sister who has to tendency to be loud when she is having fun doesn't go well with him. Certain activities, such as VBS at church, are very difficult for him due to the noise.

Hunter has vision issues where his brain doesn't recognize certain colors. For instance, he sees gray and tan as the same color.  He has adjusted to this and we have learned to not correct him when what he sees is different that what we see.  He cannot tell the difference so correcting him would only frustrate him. 

Like many boys his age, Hunter loves science.  He is fascinated with how things works and is interested in most animals.  The animals he very much dislikes are spiders and insects.  He does really well in reading and spelling, as well. 

For the longest time, his favorite animal has been a turtle.  There is a little bit of irony here as he would prefer to just stay in his shell and never come out.  As parents, we try to push him so that he doesn't stay in his shell.  However, we have learned over the years when he has reached his limit and to allow him to have quiet time.

So, what does autism look like? For the many families with children afflicted by the disorder, it looks like them. For our family, autism looks like Hunter:



For more information about austism, please visit the following site: http://www.autismspeaks.org/

Whom Do You Serve?

What does it mean to be a bond-servant?  Is it even something worthwhile?  Well, I guess that would depend on who you are a bond-servant to.  You see, we all serve something.  We serve God or we serve ourselves.   We love God or we love money.  We love God or we love our car.  We long to please God or we long please ourselves. 

Paul, James, Peter, Jude, Tychicus, Epaphras, Christ were all named bond-servants in Scripture.  It's not an exhaustive list, but that's a pretty good list of people to emulate.  Especially, the last one I listed.  The English word bond-servant is translated from the Greek word doulos.  The original Greek definition of doulos means slave, not servant.  When I think of a servant, I envision a butler.  The word doulos is so much deeper than someone who occasionally answers a door and keeps certain rooms in the house tidy.  Doulos means slave.  To be a slave to Satan, who is an evil taskmaster, brings up visions of a vicious slave owner, who tortures, abuses and starves his slaves to keep them under subjection to him.  He may promise good things to them, but in the end, he can only really offer them pain and death.  To be a slave to Christ, who is a perfectly holy master, brings to mind someone who loves those in his household and views his "doulos" as an extension of his family.  He has requirements for his doulos, but He desires to have a relationship with each and every one of them.  He even brings them into his household to sit at His table!

John MacArthur very eloquently explains (much better than I can ever hope to) what it means to be a slave to Christ.  And it is so much deeper than what is being preached in many churches today.  

If you really desire to serve and love Christ with all your heart, soul and mind, I would encourage you pick up a copy of "Slave: The Hidden Truth About Your Identity in Christ" by John MacArthur.  It can be read rather quickly, but I would encourage you to read it more than once so that you will have a chance to properly digest the biblical truth contained within it. 

I am getting ready to start reading it agan!

Over the Hill? I Surely Hope Not...

I celebrated my birthday on May 21st.  It was a day marked with mixed emotions.  You see, a famous (or is it infamous) preacher from California guaranteed that Jesus Christ was returning on May 21st.  It would have been very cool if it would have happened on my birthday, but I am thankful that the Lord tarried so that this man, who has caused much confusion within the Church, would NOT be correct.  But, I digress....   It was my 40th and while it is a milestone of sorts, I don't really see myself as "that" old.   I have been blessed with a beautiful, godly wife who has helped me grow as a husband, father and most importantly in my walk with the Lord over these past 12 1/2 years.  God has blessed us with two beautiful children and I am truly grateful and thankful for the wonderful responsibility of doing my part to point them to Christ. 


I am a geek and my wife and children gave me Autobot/Decepticon cufflinks, a Darth Vader USB thumb drive and a TARDIS IPhone case.

On Sunday, our Life Group at Church threw a surprise "Over the Hill" party.   We had fun with it, and I played along but I really hope that I am not "Over the Hill" yet.

A famous contemporary writer encourages his readers to have their "best life now", I truly hope that my "best life" is yet to come! 

Welcome Georgie!

Well, we have adopted a guinea pig.  Jenni and I have been talking about it on and off for a while now but until today we have always decided to wait.  Today, we decided to start looking.  We went to the pet store today after a family outing and Jenni saw one which she liked.  She named her Georgie.  Her inspiration was the abominable snowman from Looney Tunes who liked Daffy Duck so much that he wanted to "hug him and squeeze him and name him George".   Since this pig was a female, her name was Georgie.  We all like her, although Emmi is yet to pet her.

Apes flinging poo

My pastor tweeted this last week.  "The deluded: They think that by loudly claiming to love Christ they stifle the louder cry of their practice of not loving Christ's people."

When I read this, I immediately thought of the following:

Picture an ape. The "deluded" are similar to an ape in the fact that they scream "Look at me (fist pounding their chests) and at how much I love Christ." But like apes, they fling poo at those around them (and often in their own home) and their actions reveal that their heart DOES NOT love the Church and those in it, nor does it truly love Christ.

Don't be an ape. 

If you are an ape, come to Christ, repent of your sin and start loving Christ's people as you should. 

The principle in the following verse applies...

Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. (Eph 4:28 ESV) 

Catching Up

Well it has been three months since my last post. So I will try and fit the last three months into a post.....


Halloween was different this year. Since the holiday fell on a Sunday we took the kids to the mall on Saturday. The mall had a craft center, story time, a costume contest and then trick or treating to all the stores in the mall. The kids had a great time!! To top the day off our Little Miss won first prize in the costume contest.

The first part of November we were getting packed to go to my parents house. We were in South Carolina for two weeks! It was wonderful being able to spend time with my mother and sisters. Thanksgiving was how I remembered it being as a kid. A ton of food and family and you cannot forget the always present football.

We came home the first weekend of December. Our Little Miss arrived home with a sinus infection AND strep throat. That was Sunday the 5th. The 6th found me in the ER and then a week in the hospital.

Christmas was nice. We had a quiet Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with just the four of us. Christmas afternoon and the next day was spent with John's parents and his sister.

New Years Eve we spent with our church family. We had a great time. Since our church is 40 minutes away we spent the night at a hotel. The kids love staying at a hotel. New Years day we had a couple over. We spent the day eating and playing wii.

January has brought lots of snow. The kids love sledding. We have been blessed to have a hill in our backyard.

Well I think that about catches us up.