Going to Wordpress

I have decided to migrate my blog to wordpress.  I really like their tools and their interface for managing blogs is better than the one I am using now.  Going forward, very few posts will be going to this site.  I may re-purpose this blog for something else at a later date.

I will post most of my new items to: 
          http://papajgreen.com

As a part of this migration, I will post family specific items to: 
          http://fourgreenpeasinapod.wordpress.com

Redeeming the Holidays

I will not go into all of the gory details, but my wife grew up in a home which oozed tension and strife.   To me, it seemed like the goal of one person was to stress out the others as much as he could.  Personally, I laughed at the childish behavior.  My wife was not so fortunate.  For her, the holidays have always meant stress, fear and anxiety.  For her, it was more like on "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Robert Barone was trying to lick Pepto Bismol out of the bottle while his parents were going at each other.  It was stress times 10.  This continued into her adult years, and we were the gluttons for driving south over the holidays to partake in the insanity.  Over the years, I witnessed this tension and what it did to my wife.  Because the relationships were unhealthy, manipulative and destructive, we have distanced ourselves from that insanity and have purposed to make the holidays a positive experience for us and our children.

Hunter gets overwhelmed when he receives too many gifts and his senses get overstimulated.  When this happens, he shuts down and it's a stressful situation for everyone.  We have learned to minimize the sensory overload so that he can enjoy the holiday, as well.  We push him but we also know what his limits are.

Merriman-Webster defines redeem as the following:

1. To buy back
2. To free from what distresses or harms.
3. To change for the better.
4. To offset the bad effect of, to make worthwhile.

Many of these definitions apply to our practice of redeeming the holidays.  My wife and our children are no longer being subjected to that insanity, so we have freed them from what distresses and/or harms them.   We have also decided that, as much as we are able to control, our holidays will be different than what she experienced.  Gradually, her holidays are becoming something which she looks forward to, so they are now worthwhile.

Our goal is to give our children good memories of the holidays.  It does not mean that we buy our children everything that they want, but it does mean that there is joy, thankfulness and love displayed in the home.

For my wife's sake and for the sake of our children, we have chosen to redeem the holidays.

And the Braces are off!

Emmi's braces are now off.   She had a front tooth which was crooked and it was damaging the backs of the bottom teeth beneath it.   After the braces were first put on, we were amazed to the see that the tooth straighted out in about three or four days!   As you can imagine, she was pretty miserable during those first few days.  After that initial move, they were just making fine adjustments and letting the tooth settle into place.   No guarantees, but they are hoping that she won't need to have a second round. 

As you can see from the picture below, she was very happy to have them removed.  The orthodontists office gave her balloons and a bag of candy.  She also earned a gift card to Target and I took her to buy a toy, get cheesy popcorn and gum.  When we got home, she was very good girl and shared the chocolate with her brother and mother.  

Mixed Education Home

It has been a little while since my post, but since then we have come to the decision that it was best to enroll Emmi in the local public school this year.  You see, she struggles with dylsexia and short term memory/comprehension ability so to better equip her to be successful, we enrolled her in the local public school.  We believe that these issues are, at least in part, due to the fact that she had seizures as a baby. 

We all struggled a little bit during the first several weeks as we learned how everything works in this district. It's a lot different than when I was a kid way back in the 20th century!  She has made many new friends and, for the most part, enjoys school a lot.  She is a social butterfly and loves "the people" so her adjustment was not much of an issue at all.  Her classroom has done several little plays (classrooom only so we couldn't go watch) and she has had a couple of parts.  

 

Bentley often "helps" drop-off and pick-up Emmi at school.  She has her own little car seat and gets excited when she sees all of the kids. 

 

We tried to find Hunter a good fit, as well.  We sat in on one classroom for about 45 minutes and had several discussions with the district regarding what they offered children who have autism.  After much prayerful consideration, we felt it was in his best interests to keep him home for the time being.  His curriculum is on the computer and is very well done.  He is also thriving and enjoying being home with mama.

 



To Tolerate or not to Tolerate, that is the question.

Salman Rushdie knows what it's like to really offend a group of people.  This is a man who had a fatwa issued against him for blasphemy.  The religious leadership in Iran called for his death because he had written a book which they deemed offensive.  Due to the price on his head, he was forced to live in hiding for several years.  One of his responses to the outrage caused was the following quote. “What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist”.   Rushdie’s novel was neither tolerated nor accepted by most in the Muslim world.

Tolerate -

1. Allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
2. Accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance.

Accept – to believe as true, to believe. 

There are differences between the two definitions.  One allows for the existence of difference of opinion without accepting said opinion as truth while the other accepts it as truth.  It’s a big world and all of the available beliefs, actions or opinions are not beliefs, actions or opinions which I can accept as true, or believe as my own.  I can however, tolerate that you believe something which I don’t believe. Being tolerant allows both of us to have a difference of opinion without penalty or consequence to either of us.  Another analogy is that I tolerate cauliflower.  I don't accept it as good nourishment but I will eat it, if I have to.  My wife would disagree with me, but I know that our son agrees with me.  You see, there is a difference between tolerating someone else’s beliefs and accepting their beliefs. 

Regarding the hot topic of the day, I find the back and forth discussion over Don Cathy’s comments very interesting.  In my opinion, Don Cathy's comments have been exceedingly blown out of proportion.  He never said that he hated homosexuals.  From what I have read, he never said anything which was discriminatory.  All he said was that he supports traditional marriage.  Even though I agree with him on this issue, I have found somewhat humorous that some Christians are crying foul over the talk about boycotting Chick-Fila.  They claim that Don Cathy was just exercising his Constitutional right to “freedom of speech” and accuse liberals of being intolerant.  I agree with D.A. Carson when he said that there are people who demand that others be tolerant of them but at the same time they are extremely intolerant of others.  He calls this attitude the “Intolerance of Tolerance”, which is prevalent in our culture today.  Did you know that it is entirely possible to have an opinion or even a conviction about something without being a hate-monger or violating someone’s civil rights?   Sadly though, in the current culture of targeted intolerance, one needs to choose their vocalized opinions wisely or risk facing the media firing squad.  I find it amusing when “tolerant” people become militant with intolerant hate when they find anyone who doesn’t accept their beliefs or opinions as fact.   In cases like this, their view of tolerance is hypocritical, self-serving and they don’t even see it.  So many people on both sides of this issue (and many other highly sensitive issues) are only tolerant of you and your beliefs as long as they line up with their own.  The irony is mind-boggling.  As a result, respect for others and their beliefs are becoming endangered species. Respectful debating of issues is even rarer. 

As you probably have heard, there has been talk of boycotts, franchise bans and support days.  Mayors, governors, talk show hosts, etc… have all thrown their two cents in.  All the while, I have recalled recent situations where the roles have been reversed and Christians were the ones calling for boycotts.  In fact, there are some Christian organizations which are built upon the boycott mentality. Their “Action Alerts” are closely followed and churches are encouraged to have their members/attendees sign petitions pledging their support to the cause. They strategically and oftentimes successfully create, promote and stage a boycott to “encourage” a business to change the way in which it does business or even who it gives money to.  As a result, why should Christians be surprised or outraged when the same tactic is used against an organization or company in which Christians deem to be ok? Sadly, I was sucked into this type of political activism at a former church. I even signed petitions at church demanding that “company A” stop funding “group b” or I would no longer purchase “company A’s” product.  I don’t see anything inherently wrong with giving your opinion.  If somebody feels compelled to speak out regarding a certain topic, to sign a petition, to support a group which you believe in, or to even boycott those you don't believe in, feel free to do as your conscience leads.  However, when it is encouraged or endorsed by the local New Testament Church, I am afraid that the church has drifted from its’ first love. When a church gathers together, it is not to discuss the political hot topics of the day, to promote a certain line of political thinking or even to worship the “Good Ol’ USA”.  It is to worship the Lamb of God, the Risen Son of the Living God, the only mediator between God and man, the King of Kings, Jesus Christ through praise, singing, prayer, meditation, giving, serving and the preaching of the Word of God.

  

Personally, Chick-Fila’s president should have known that his comments, especially in the current political climate, would be highly controversial and would likely result in a backlash against his company and the roughly 1,600 Chick-Fila local franchises around the country.   The outcry and intense scrutiny are no surprise.  However, we need to remember that he did not discriminate against anybody.  He simply gave his opinion on what he believes.  People who disagree with him can counter with what they believe.  We are living in dangerous times when a person cannot give his or her opinion without fear of financial, physical or legal reprisal.  Let’s debate the issues with civility, decency and respect. 

It is possible to disagree about something without spewing vile hatred at each other.

And least, it should be.

Guys' Night Out

Part of my birthday present this year included tickets to a Kane County Cougars game.  This past Friday night, Hunter and I had our Guys' Night Out.  The Cougars are a Class A team which currently is affiliated with the Kansas City Royals.  They play in Geneva, IL and that night the Burlington Bees (IA) were in town.

We grabbed our gloves and off we went. Friday night traffic was typical and we arrived at the ballpark with about 15 minutes to spare. We quickly made our way to the concession stand and we decided that hotdogs, fries and drinks would be our meal of choice. I found our seats and after a short discussion with a gentleman who was sitting in the wrong section, we sat down. We were sitting on the home dugout side, even with 1st base. I later found out that some friends were there that night, one of which (Matt Black) was in the quartet that sang the National Anthem. (Small world)   The theme for the night was Heroes and Villans.  It has been really hot and humid here in Chicago area lately and Friday night was no exception.  We had talked that if the weather was cool enough that he could wear either his Iron Man or Snake Eyes costume.   Since it was hot, I told him to pick out one of his t-shirts with a hero on it.   Hunter selected his Sonic t-shirt and I wore my Batman t-shirt.  

Hunter asked a ton of questions about the game.  He was curious about the rules of the game, how the scoring was kept, who the different people on the field were and what their roles were, how they kept getting balls up to home plate and what the numbers on the foul poles were for.  He also noticed the Gatorade coolers in the visitor dugout.  He likes Gatorade, so I think he was a tad bit jealous.  About the 6th inning, we went for a cool snack and he chose an M&M Ice Cream Sandwich.   He said it was very good.

He was attentive for most of the game and really enjoyed the entertainment between innings.  One of the things which likely helped was that he had his iTouch.  He took a lot of pictures throughout the game.   At one point he decided that he was going to record the game.  He ended up recording roughly the last 42 minutes of the game.  At roughly the 17 minute mark, a foul ball was sliced over our head.  He caught it on the video and the audio includes the screams which immediately followed.   The ball was hit very sharply and could have easily hurt somebody.  Thankfully, the ball was hit into empty seats a few rows up and in the section to our right.   If fans in our area were not paying attention a few minutes earlier, I am sure that they were after that!  As it started getting darker he asked how we would be able to see when the sun went down and I told him that the stadium lights would keep the field well lit.  He then stood up and counted each set of lights (there were six) and proceeded to point out that some of them had burnt out bulbs.  (Yep, and there's the autism...  :)  )  

The Cougars had a shutout going until the top of the 9th, when the Bees had a couple of hits and the Cougars pitcher threw to 1st when nobody was there except one of the Bees runners.   It hit him in the ankle, took a weird bounce and the runner was able to advance.   He ultimately scored but it didn't affect the outcome as the Cougars won the game 8-1.

Immediately after the game, they started the Heroes and Villans Themed Fireworks show.  It was very good.  Included in Hunter's 42 minute recording was the fireworks show, which he included because he wanted to show it to mama.

After the fireworks were done, we herded ourselves out of the ballpark to our respective vehicles.  As we were walking through the parking lot, we were entertained by a second fireworks show.  Only this show was put on by the thunderstorm which was rapidly heading our way.  (There were reports of 60 MPH wind gusts, hail, lightning, etc..)   By God's grace, we were able to get to the van and get out of the parking lot relatively quickly.  For the most part, we were able to stay ahead of the storm on our way home. 

We both had a great time and he told me that he would like to go to another game.

We are now officially insane!

I can safely say that because on the evening of June 5th, we drove to Clare, IL and purchased Shih-Poo puppy.  (Imperial Shih-Tzu/Poodle mix)  She immediately came up to Hunter and although she does bark some, most of the time he is able to tolerate it.  Jenni has wanted a dog named Bentley for some time now and her middle name goes along with the color theme for the kids.

So without further ado... 

Welcome to our little family, 

Bentley Jade. 

She is just over 12 weeks old now.  Before you ask, we did try to rescue a dog from a local shelter.  We had been looking for quite a while at various animal shelters but most were unwilling to even consider us because we have children under the age of 12.  Evidently they have found that many of the dogs they receive tend to have "guarding" issues which could result in the dog biting a child.  Another shelter even required us to agree that we would only feed the dog raw food and that we would only get vaccines which were mandated by law.  Other shelters just didn't have a dog which would be a good fit for us as a family.  You see, both Jenni and Emmi have animal allergies so we had to get a dog which has no undercoat and minimal dander.   Also, we live in a townhome and to be fair to everyone, it is best that we have a small dog. 

She cried very little after we brought her home and she has adjusted well to our little family.  She is a lot of work but she is also a joy to have in the house.  We have seen some benefits from her being in the house already.  You see, for the past year or so, we have been told by numerous medical professionals that a dog will likely help with Hunter's autism, Emmi's dyslexia and Jenni's chronic pain.  We have already seen improvements with Hunter in this short time.  

Now, we just need to get through the puppy phase.....

Breaking News; Racism is STILL a problem in America

The definition of racism is as follows:

1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

Recent headlines have reminded us again how volatile the issue of racism is in America. Most of understand that racism is an issue in this nation, but most of us don't believe that we are actually part of the problem. I fear that many of us have fooled ourselves into believing that we have risen above racism and are somehow better than the generations which came before us. In some small ways our country has made progress but we are still a nation which struggles with the sin of racism. I say that it's a sin because if we are going to obey Jesus, we must “love our neighbor as yourself.” (Matt 22:39, Mark 12:31) You cannot follow this commandment and be a racist.

We are all too familiar with the historical tension between whites and blacks. I would highly recommend that you read John Piper's book called Bloodlines.  If you read it with an open mind, you will likely realize (as I did) that you too have some racist tendencies.  It is not something I realized about myself and it is something which troubled me.   With me, it was more about sterotypes than anything else.  They may not be overt and many of these tendencies come from ignorance and just plain stupidity. May I suggest that neither of which is a good excuse? John Piper grew up in South Carolina during the civil rights era so his book primarily discusses racial tensions between whites and blacks.  However, I believe that many of the ideas discussed in his book apply to how we interact with every other race.  We can easily overlook the fact that racial issues also extend to Hispanics, Asian and almost every other racial group in this country, including the Native American Indians whose ancestors were in North America before many of our ancestors were. For example, Irish immigrants in the early 19th century were the subjected to idiotic stereotypes and were essentially treated as "white negroes". This was a cruel irony for the Irish immigrants because one of the reasons they left Ireland was because they were treated as lower class citizens by the British. They were relegated to demeaning jobs, had their land stolen from them and were generally oppressd by the English. They left their country in the hope for a better life and would find many of the same issues here. Also, throughout the early period of the West, the Chinese were exploited and segregated, simply because of their race. The transcontinental railway system was built on the backs of immigrants, one of which were Chinese immigrants. California's Chinese immigrants became the objects of discriminatory laws and racial violence. According to Digital History, "California barred these immigrants from appearing as witnesses in court, prohibited them from voting or becoming naturalized citizens, and placed their children in segregated school. The state imposed special taxes on "foreign" miners and Chinese fishermen." In our "melting pot" today, there are many whites who are racist towards Hispanics and assume that most are here illegally and are only looking for free health care. Also, in our present day and thanks in large part to the reaction of the events on 9/11, racism is often veiled as enthusiastic patriotism. Many believe that it's ok to discriminate against anyone wearing a burqa or turbin. Fear is oftentimes intertwined with racism. We fear a certain group of people because we think they want to hurt us or steal from us. In an attempt to stop vicious crime brought on by racism, our government has enacted Hate Crime legislation. Their belief is that if certain crimes can merit harsher punishments, then there will be a deterrent. However, where many of these laws miss the mark is that the term "hate crime", when it's used in reference to violent crime, is redundant in most cases.  A crime does not need to be committed against somebody of a different race to be considered a crime of hate.

There are many whites who cringe when they see white on black crime. Sadly for most, I doubt their reaction is simply because a crime was committed. It's because they know that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton will be on TV for the next several days. When Jackson and Sharpton start speaking out against a crime against blacks, many of these whites are questioning where these men were when a black committed crimes against non-whites. Over the past several weeks, I have heard the comments again. It's almost as if their non-presence when the victim is white negates the importance of Trayvon Martin. Sadly, the people complaining don't even realize that they are guilty of the same thing. They don't speak up when it's the other way around. In the aftermath of Zimmerman/Martin, some people started asking why the mainstream media didn't seem to care when a group of blacks gruesomely tortured and murdered a white couple in 2007. I don't know why it wasn't reported on as much as Trayvon's death. I don't recall which news stories were being followed by the mainstream media after these murders occurred. You can always go back and forth and ask why this story or that story wasn't more important to the media. Regardless, these type of comments are oftentimes counterproductive, especially when they are said out of anger. In the events of Trayvon Martin's death, if race was not a factor it most certainly has been a factor in the discussion since his death. This is a major reason why I firmly believe that this nation is still struggling with racism. There are still many, many unanswered questions and I don't know which account is correct. However, I do know that George Zimmerman was told to stop following Trayvon by the 911 operator. If Zimmerman would have heeded those commands, Trayvon would still be alive today. I also know that an armed man followed an unarmed teenager and I know that the unarmed and dead teenager cannot give his side of the story. The bullet from George Zimmerman's gun guaranteed that. I also have a feeling there is more to be learned about this story. I also found the number of unnecessary and irrelevant anonymous leaks from the Sanford police department interesting. One has to wonder why they were releasing this information? These just add fuel to the already unstable powder keg. As is often the case in high profile situations like this, some of the responses have been irresponsible and are out of control. I have listened to Geraldo's hoodie comments and I kind of can see where he is coming from, although I don't agree with him that Trayvon would be alive if he left his hoodie at home. Right or wrong, people make assumptions based on how people look and many times those assumptions are not correct. Ultimately, Zimmerman's assumption, based off an incorrect profile, that Trayvon was about to steal something was incorrect. Zimmerman says he is not racist and I don't know if that is true or not, but much of the rhetoric since the death of Trayvon has been littered with racism and many people on both sides of this issue are to blame.


Let's be honest with ourselves, we've all heard (and even laughed at a few times) the jokes that go like this: "How many __________ does it take to ___ ___ ___?" Typically, these types of jokes are racist and they use a broad brush to essentially call a race or group of people idiots. These are often "white" on "white" jokes. My Uncle Tom's family was Finnish and lived in Hancock Michigan during the 1940's. His father had felt the effects of racism towards him. As a result, when my Uncle was born in 1943, his father decided to give his son a different last name. His father's last name was Linja, which is distinctly Finnish, and he hoped that his son would have better shot at assimilating into American society if he had a more American sounding name. So, he wrote his last name as "Line" on his birth certificate. When my uncle's brother was born, the hospital wouldn't let him change his name so it remained Linja. People figured it out and there was no quantifiable difference in how my Uncle Tom was treated growing up. We need to remember that racism takes on many forms and can be directed towards any other people group. It is arrogant to believe that any of us are better than another. When we allow ourselves to believe that we are somehow better than another simply because of their race, we are racist. When we use racist terms to describe another group of people, we are racist. When we treat one race of people differently than another, we are racist. When we mock another race because we want to make ourselves feel better, we are racist. We may not want to acknowledge this but it is something we must come to grips with and we must repent of it. It is not how Jesus wants us to live.

We must remember that racism does not need to look like the KKK or Nazi Germany. It does not need to have white hoods, a burning cross and a rope. It does not need to be blatant or overt. It can be something which we are ashamed of and try to bury deep in our thoughts. No matter how hard we try to bury our feelings, they will often be revealed by how we act. It may be revealed when we go out of our way to walk on the other side of the street when to avoid passing somebody of another color. It may be displayed when we automatically get protective when we are around somebody of another race. We may reveal it when we patronize somebody of another race because we think they have lower intelligence than we do. Jesus said that the condition of our heart is revealed by what comes out of our mouth. (Matt 12:34) It may be how we treat someone who does not speak English very well. Do you get upset with immigrants and demand that since they are in America, they need to speak English? It is extremely arrogant to believe that a person's ability to speak English somehow relates to their value as a person. I know people who are ok with people of other races as long as they act white. How wicked is that? At its heart, racism comes from a belief that I am better than somebody else simply because of my skin color or culture. The Bible tells us that man was created in the image of God. Christ came to this earth and gave His perfect, sinless life on the cross as a ransom for those who would believe on Him. He died for white, black, brown, yellow, tan, red or any other shade of skin which any man, woman or child may have. Racism, in all its forms, is a sin and I would dare say that we have all been guilty of it at one time or another. We need to repent of and continuously fight against this vile sin.
 

Ultimately, racism does not look at the individual for who he or she is.  One of the bitter fruits of racism is that we often lose the opportunity to make solid, Christ honoring friendships when we stupidly refuse to get past some external, such as skin color, nationality or culture.  I am not suggesting that we be color blind. Quite the contrary! We should embrace the differences in color, race and language because there will be a time when people from every race, tribe and tongue will be standing and singing praises in the presence of Jesus. (Rev 5:9)

Should I try to fight it? (or should I just accept defeat)

Today, we entered the next phase in parenthood when our youngest child had braces installed in her mouth.   Sorry, but I find it necessary to use the word "installed" when metal and wires are being semi-permanently glued into one's mouth.  Thankfully, at least for now, she only needs them on the top.

When her mother had braces, her orthodontist installed braces to her cabbage patch doll.  To help Emmi adjust and cope with this process, Jenni gave her cabbage patch doll to Emmi.   To ensure that I can sleep in my own bed tonight, I won't go into exactly how long that doll has had braces.  What I can tell you is that the teeth on that doll have been very stubborn and slow to move.

As to be expected, she is a little uncomfortable but is doing well. 

Jenni's Crafty Corner

For quite a while, Jenni has desired to start up a store on Etsy.com.  She has a gift for craftiness and she really enjoys making things which are useful, practical and durable.   Making these items over the years has been therapeutic for her.  Below is a sampling of some of the items she has made for our family. 

She's currently working on a rug for the kitchen. 

She has made quilts for Hunter and Emmi.  These took her countless hours and both children love them.   Emmi's is made from bandanas and Hunter's has a space theme.  

She has made dresses for Emmi and shirt pillows for both children.

She has made hair pieces, as well.   She made the items below for Autism Awareness Month. 

If you feel so inclined, please take a moment to check out her esty page.   There are some items which will be useful to new moms.  If you or someone you know would be interested in any of the items in her store, please let her know!